Kick off the New Year by getting your semi-demonic new fashion choices underway. How? Let’s start with the basics- like something, elegant, classic, and just a touch… flappy. Like these BootWings.

Model/photography credit to archaical

its wanktime 4 this tartette

That’s… incredibly tiny. Look as a future request, if you’re going to attempt to wank off to my goddamned artwork, at least bring enough meat to the party that I can properly flay, cure, and make something actually useful out of it? 

Of course, this is less about your microscopic dick and more about other things. Like the rest of your account. This isn’t about you getting off, at least, not in the normal sense. This is about you getting off on the internet equivalent of street harassment. This is about you getting off on shaming and sexualizing women who simply had pictures of themselves up online. Which, need I really say it, is not fucking cool. 

I’m sure part of you’s also getting off on being called out for this, because, let’s face it- you’re like a five-year-old jumping up and down shouting “Look! BOOBIES!” you know you’re going to get slapped down for this at some point. No doubt this rant about you, your tiny prick, and your childish behaviour is getting you hard right now, isn’t it? Let’s make this simple- here’s a great illustration of what you deserve. Since internet technology still lacks the ability for me to reach across space and do this personally by hand, I’ll simply stick wishing you and yours the worst of misfortunes. May every hand turn against you. May no step you take be certain. May circumstance and chance never fall in your favor. And may you one day learn that standing on the internet equivalent of a streetcorner with your dick out in your hand is a good way to get it bit off. 


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